The Rumor Mill

The Rumor Mill was developed some years back as the disinformation arm or as some have put it “the paramilitary outfit for the Department of Human Resource”. Though the exact date at which "The Mill" was founded is clouded in secrecy, what is known is that it was born after the first female was appointed to head the D.H.R. Today "The Mill" is not exclusive to the female gender; its’ membership crosses gender, racial, age, and sexual orientation barriers. Its main goal and focus is to provide the D.H.R with pertinent information about employees and in many cases exploit that information for corporate gains.

During its’ infancy "The Mill" was generally headquartered at a location known to many as The Water Cooler; but as the world has changed and technology has become more readily available "The Mill's" operations are undertaken in a more clandestine manner. Through the use of email and inter-office instant messaging Mill operatives have been able to move vast quantities of (dis)information to a countless number of unsuspecting corporate audiences.

Much like the location of "The Mill" in a given corporation, its' various locales throughout corporate America have also changed with the times. In the past “The Mill” would have substations throughout a company, but would rarely converse with their counter parts in other corporations. This has all changed. Again, due to the advancement of communications "The Mill's" objectives have grown to include multi-corporation disinformation campaigns. Through the use of undercover office employees and the building of relationships a rumor or innuendo may be spread from one corporation to another. This allows for "The Mill" to exact its influence on its many victims despite if they leave their current position or not.

"The Mill" relies on its vast arsenal of operatives known as "Spooks" to achieve its many and often secret goals. At any given time in any given corporation there may be scores of "Spooks "infiltrating every corner office, board room, and cubicle. Most often a victim will never even know or think to assume that one of their own is a "Spook". Throughout the day most of them will at least attempt to carry on a cover by doing actual work; but more often than not the loose guise of production allows for them to gather vital information.

A Mill "Spook" can most often and most easily by made or outed during after hour work functions where alcohol is being consumed. A key characteristic of a "Spook" is the disdain towards intoxication. A "Spook" believes that the easiest way to gather sensitive information about a colleague is during a situation where alcohol has impaired their judgment. As a "Spook" watches its' cohorts drink he/she will bait their victim with inflammatory remarks about their employer or fellow co-workers. The idea behind leading a victim into a conversation is to generate a true and real opinion someone has about any given topic. For the "Spook" beginning a conversation affords them the pleasure of directing where the topic goes and if they are good at what they do will generate a predetermined response based on previous opinions expressed.

For those who wish to keep their guard up during these many situations, spot out those who are reluctant to accept an invitation to a Happy Hour or social gathering, but always seem to show up anyways. Usually they will order a lite-beer or glass of white wine and nurse the drink the entire time. This is a method "Spooks" employ to give the impression that they are drinking. Their hope is that as others consume multiple drinks they will forget about what others are drinking or how much they have consumed. If the "Spook" has gathered enough information he/she will most often be the first to leave a situation for fear that they too may fall victim to another "Spook" who is pushing them to drink more or stay out longer. A word to the wise is try to pick out those who are out of place and have never seemed to have a natural tendency for having fun; more often than not during an enjoyable experience they will be the ones complaining or sitting in the corner soaking up information.

The Rumor Mill is a vast and complex organization where much of the information gathered is stored away by “Sr. Spooks” for use at a later date. Rarely does a “Spook” immediately release information gathered for fear of exposure. Time is and has always been on the side of the “The Mill”. Not much is known about the inner workings of The Mill, but what is known is that it directly reports to The Department of Human Resource. More will be explained later concerning the Inter-Corporate Personnel Industrial Complex.