Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Lie about Detroit and Win Scholarship Money...

The Challenge...

I'm debating if its worth the lies to win 5 grand...
http://www.myjourneythroughthed.com/Home_Page.php
I think I could make enough up...


Hahaha... I believe in Detroit because...

- the level of excitement the city’s culture instills can be compared only to sheer panic

  • With a murder every day and a crack whore on every corner any minute spent in the D could be your last
  • Sure we’ve missed the top spot, landing #2 on America’s most dangerous cities 3 years running, but we’re working to make sure that every 15 year old is taking advantage of their right to bear arms and we’re positive we’ve done everything necessary to guarantee Detroit is a shoo in for most dangerous place to reside in 2008!

- this is our country

  • every American auto worker who produces $20,000 worth of work a year
    deserves to get an annual salary of $60,000
  • the auto industry, despite the complete incompetence and lack of globally competitive infrastructure is still good for two or three more bailouts paid for by hardworking US taxpayers in other states
  • Detroit supports unions: organizations run by deceitful politicians who produce nothing of value and rape the worker for half their salary and when the unions are done pillaging and raping all they can from the Detroit economy, the union leaders will not take responsibility and rectify the situation, but instead wipe their hands and leave the mess behind moving on to find new pockets to plunder, taking advantage of a new group, namely casino dealers

- the natural beauty is abundant

  • the city has more land available for agricultural development than any other metropolitan city in the US
  • Need a house, take one, there are burnt out and abandoned homes on every block!
  • We don’t need to occupy all our buildings, we’ll just turn the lights on when the Super-bowl comes to town

- the government leadership is morally committed and exceptionally excellent,

  • the mayor has found it so easy to screw the economy and voters that he’s moved on to more challenging tasks like screwing his staff and lying under oath
  • the governor has guaranteed that no child will be left behind and accomplished this by cutting education funding to the point that no child born in Michigan will go anywhere to begin with in another ten years college acceptance will be based not on the SATs or ACTs but rather an individuals ability to make it cover to cover in a Dr. Seuss book in under an hour
  • Michigan’s government is so good that it’s the only one in the United States that sometimes just shuts down and stops working entirely!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Becoming Near-sighted

How did I acquire such a fascination for minutes? Watching and anticipating their every endless move and their flawless drill forward. I used to playfully get lost amongst them.

I’ve exponentially taken to staring at the digital bits of my computer screen. Each time my gaze drifts elsewhere my surroundings get progressively more blurry.

How did it go unnoticed when my mind morphed into only two dimensions? The depths of perspective turned illusion. The fright of repeatedly wandering on the perimeter of such a restricted plane.

It’s about time to correct my vision.